I know a woman. She tells a different story to everybody she meets. She has told many that she had to leave her ex husband because he was abusive and cruel to her, that he threatened to hurt her and their daughter. They believe her and support her and never ask for his side of things. Her daughter knows her father has never raised a hand to her or her mother. The woman has told her daughter that she only had contact with an ex boyfriend once before the divorce. Her daughter has seen the proof that her mother was in contact with that man many times before the divorce. The daughter knows this to be a lie as well. The woman lies to this one and hides things from that one. Her daughter sees this and watches as her mother dances around topics with half truths and omissions. Her daughter tells her step mother that "Mother lies and it's not right".

It is often said that children see and hear more than they should. In this case the daughter is seeing enough to make her dislike the person her mother is and take steps to never be like her. The daughter is finding that honesty is much better and far easier to keep straight. The daughter listens as her mother tells one story to a friend and another to a different friend and watches as they do something else completely different. The daughter listens as occasionally the mother confuses the two and slips in her stories. The daughter is seeing that honesty is far simpler. At times the daughter speaks with bitterness about her mother because of these lies and the pain they've caused her father. The daughter is only eight, she's got a long life ahead of her, and already she knows it will be filled with lies that fall from her mother's lips with every breath she takes.

A mother and daughter's relationship is failing because of bearing false witness when it's not needed.

Richard often bragged to me about how if he was tired of having somebody around he would simply set them up. He would make it look like they'd done a crime so bad that nobody would question anything twice before hauling the problem out of his life. I warned my ex husband about going to live with him, knowing Richard was unstable and could see only bad coming of it.

Is it any wonder why when a few months later my ex husband was accused of sexually abusing a child I knew he cared for like one of his own I called shinanigins?

I knew what would happen should he be dropped through the system with nobody on his side. I knew he couldn't afford a lawyer. I knew he'd be crucified by any and all of the media.

I looked up the articles being published by "reporters" about him. I put the term reporter in quotes because these people were anything but unbiased. They painted his character with the blackest of strokes from their poison pens. They ignored me when I tried to contact them about the canyon-sized holes in their stories. They dismissed me when I tried to explain to them that Richard, the father of the little girl, had previously asked my ex husband to aquire pictures of this nature before. They closed their ears when I disclosed that Richard had expressed preferences for underage girls many times before.

Finally we found somebody to listen to me. We found somebody willing to believe that I had proof of Richard being innappropriate. But that didn't get my ex husband released from jail. No, they needed more. Finally they'd held him for as long as they could and, barring any new evidence against him, they had to let him go. They'd found nothing on either of his computers or any of his storage devices.

Because of this lie he's lost countless dollars worth of computer equipment and various other things that either the police or Richard and his wife took from his room. Because of this lie he's lost his job and has been unable to find another one due to the exact nature of the charges filed against him and the fact that the case is still open. Because of this lie he's lost sentimental items that he has no hope of replacing simply because somebody thought it looked nice and he wasn't there to keep them from taking it or destroying it.

A man's life ruined because of somebody bearing false witness when there was no need to.

And they say no harm comes from a little lie.

First stop by and check out catch0a0dream! I don't have a whole lot up over there at this moment but I'm in the process of adding more posts. Please feel free to comment or suggest any changes. I'd love your feedback on both the comm and the dreamcatchers.

Last night we joined up with some friends at the 59 Diner and celebrated November birthdays. I was honestly happy just to be included. I'm not used to being part of a group where I'm actually wanted or included so this is a wonderful group to me. I got cards! And presents! You know what's awesome? Getting stuff off your wish list. You what's even better? Getting stuff you'd never heard of but it's perfect for you! Every one of my gifts was perfect for me and the cards were all wonderful. And ... and ... I'm part of the group! They cared enough about me as a person to think of me and like me as I am. *glee*

Life is freaking awesome! And I am overwhelmed, in a good way. *beam*

Happiest of days to elfwench! I hope today is amazingly beautiful for you and the coming year brings you unexpected joy in many ways! You certainly deserve it Sweetie!

Welcome!
Hi there to drippedonpaper! We keep bumping into each other so we decided to finally add each other. LOL

Pimping:
The fantastic miintikwa is doing a One Card Draw today from 1pm to 4pm EST. She's always spot on for me. So, go! Ask! Donate if you can!

Question:
Would anybody be interested in adding / watching a journal specifically for the dreamcatchers? I'm thinking a place where I could post a picture of each one as they're done, a bit of explanation about what inspired me for the design, and such. I'd still do the rare post over here about them but I'm thinking this would be more consistent thing there so that others could find them and if certain people weren't interested they wouldn't have to see it all the time on my journal. Thoughts? Comments? Personal LJ or Community LJ?

Meme:
Interview by redneckgaijin

1) Which would/do you prefer, if such were equally easy: changing your body to be sexier, or finding someone who finds your current body sexy?

Considering that I've found several that find not only my current body but also my mind sexy, I think I'd stick with who I am. I'm very happy with me.

Mostly Jean, because she's confident and she knows what she wants and she goes for it. She has a fairly laid back attitude about things. Though not long ago I would have seen myself more as Sarah because of her shyness ... but I think I'd moved away from that for the most part.

I love how they swing from plausible to way over the line. And of course there's plenty of action! I think the only one I never could get into was Stellar.

My neck pops constantly and I'm a bit more stiff in the neck and shoulders area. My collarbone is prone to twinges occasionally so I may have a weather forecasting ability before too much longer! LOL

Dallas! I hate how I'm constantly turned around in Houston. I generally have no problem getting my bearings and finding north no matter where I am but in Houston I'm constantly turned around. I love the food variety in Houston but I really miss being 30 minutes away from nearly everything like I was in Dallas (Irving).

Between the deep purple walls, the midnight blue ceiling, wood blinds, and dark wood floors the room should have been pitch black, but the glow of the clock radio on the bedside table behind her showed his form in the bed beside her. Last time they'd curled up in the bed together like this they had ended up talking and sharing the deep wounds of their past, baring their souls as they had already bared their bodies.

She had been turning this possibility over and over in her mind, turning it around and around. Would she follow through? Would she remember her promises? Would she care? Before she had lain in his arms and kissed him, delighting in the safety and tenderness she found there. Nothing had happened other than a few kisses teetering on the edge of more than friendship and that was all that either of them had needed. This time things were different. She'd had enough of the childish games of her boyfriend and his silent treatment for mistakes she'd made but he wouldn't explain what she'd done wrong. She'd had enough of feeling disposable. For the first time she was feeling like she mattered to somebody. This man beside her, holding her, had treated her with the utmost care, tenderness, and respect that flowed from his every action. This was not a blind leap into the great beyond like so many of her decisions had been but a careful planning that truly surprised her. She honestly thought that this may very well be a one time thing and she'd never see him again, but she was willing for a one night stand if it meant that for one night she would feel wanted and desired as a person rather than a plaything.

She lightly rested her fingers on his jaw and drew him closer for another kiss, her lips pressing against his. His arms contracted around her and she felt him smile against her lips. His hands on her back pulled her closer and she felt his strong body against her. She nibbled at his lips, her tongue flicking out to sooth the nips. He chuckled at her actions and she queried why. He told her that her actions were making him feel like she really wanted to be there with him and wasn't just using him because he was there. She reassured him that she did indeed want to be there with him, more than with anybody else in the world. She slid her leg over his and his thigh pressed between her legs. The kisses deepened and she felt like she was in free fall.

His hands began to rove over her body, caressing her back, her stomach, her legs with the lightest of touches. Time and time again she thought he was going to run his palms over her breasts or press his fingers to her core and each time he skirted away like a skittish colt. Soon she was arching her back, pleading with her body for him to touch her as he so obviously wanted to. With a groan of frustration he pulled away and with the tears in his voice evident he said he couldn't. He pleaded with her to understand, fearing that if he followed through with what they both wanted she would hate him and if he backed away she would hate him. Silent tears streaked down her cheeks as the feelings of rejection and undesirability washed over her. She heard her ex's voice in the back of her mind telling her once more how horrible she was and how nobody could ever love her or want her. She took a deep breath and quietly told him she understood. He felt himself to be in a lose lose situation but he wanted to lose and not feel that he'd taken advantage of her in a time of weakness. She curled up on her side and asked him to hold her tightly, his chest pressed to her back and his arm around her waist. Her tears wet the pillow under her check and she ached for what she feared lost forever.

Her eyes fluttered open, the early morning sun was giving the wooden blinds a rich golden outline. She turned to him, her tears now dried on her face but she smiled to see that he was still there beside her. He apologized for the previous night and explained that he could not, in good conscience take advantage of her because he cared too much for her. He didn't want her to ever regret allowing him into her life. She smiled brilliantly and explained that she'd been turning over her emotions in this case for two weeks, ever since he'd left her arms at the end of his very first trip to see her. It had been in the back and front of her mind ever since and she had no regrets about the decision she'd come to. She acknowledged that she had a boyfriend and because of him this relationship would probably go no further than a few stolen weekends but while she could she would give this friend all she could and never once look back on their time with guilt or regret. 

Slowly they began to kiss again, the sweet ache once more spreading through her middle. His fingers trailed light paths over her skin again, his palms skimming over her sides. She tangled her fingers in his hair and pressed her body tightly against his. His thigh once more lodged itself between hers and she moved against him. His breath shuddered through him as his hand cupped her breast and his moan was almost a whimper as his lips closed around her. Warmth bloomed everywhere he touched her and soon she cried out as brought her time and time again to those great heights she had longed for the night before. Eventually he pulled back and started to lay beside her, intending to forgo his own pleasure, still fearing that she'd have regrets if they continued. As she floated down from those fantastic highs she felt his heat against her and asked about his satisfaction. He may have been willing to ignore his needs but she was not. She pulled him close and enticed him to continue. He moved above her and pressed into her, pulling her close and wrapping those strong arms around her as this time they both stepped over the edge. Again she was flying but this time with him. The each urged the other to new heights, climbing and soaring higher and higher. She could feel the heat spreading through her as they rose to dizzying new heights with every movement. The buildup may have been slow but the volley of explosions at the end was anything but. This was a whole new freedom in the area of flight that she'd never before dreamed could even be possible. He shook and cried out in her arms as his pleasure washed over him like a tidal wave. They held each other as they slowly returned to earth.

Ethically they were both wrong. She had a boyfriend and he knew it. This proposed relationship could go nowhere so long as she hung on the edge of the unknown with the boyfriend and she couldn't walk away. But for this stolen corner of heaven she had no regrets or guilt as to how she'd gotten there. And as long as she had no regrets or guilt he could keep his honor intact and remind his conscience that she had come to him willingly and with her eyes wide open, except for those moments where her pleasure had overcome her.

And two years later she still has no regrets and no guilt over her choices.

Birthday:
Happiest of days to oberonia! May today be fantastic for you and may the coming year bring you double the photo opportunities and happiness!

Changing of the Seasons:
The Halloween portion of our decorations have been taken down at packed away. And the LJ colors and images have been changed. I'm looking forward to the rest of this month.

Recent Creations:
            

Keep in mind that the holidays are swiftly approaching. What you've got your eye on may go fast unless you let me know! I am always willing to do similar designs but I prefer to not do identical designs, even if I can find the exact items needed twice. If you're wanting a custom design I will need time to do so. Two of these are already reserved.

Voting has been up over at therealljidol since Friday. It ends today at noon. If you enjoyed my entry Stories of our Past or Lynn's entry Uphill Both Ways please consider voting for us. A lot of people took byes this week so competition is tough between those of us that wrote.

Vote for me Here.
Vote for Lynn / apisanthrop Here. (Please vote for him, I'd hate for him to be voted out so soon).

Weekend:
Friday Lynn came home to pork steaks cooked in a seranio glaze and pasta shells with a roasted garlic sauce. I added a piece of flatbread warm from the oven for each of us and we sat down to a candlelight dinner. This was also after I rubbed his neck and shoulders while the food finished it's last couple of minutes cooking. Yes, he's a very spoiled man but he returns the favor of spoilage very often.

Saturday I lit all the candles while he whipped up seafood omelettes for us. Then we built up a fire and made a nest on the couch with the dog and fuzzy blankets for a movie marathon. Food for the day was pizza rolls, spinach rolls, cheese and crackers, and a bottle of sparkling cider left over from the wedding. We got through Salem's Lot, The Ring, Rings, Gothika, and 'Salem's Lot. We had some hot apple cider later in the evening but I handed mine over to Lynn, apparently it's not quite my cup of tea so to speak.

Sunday we spent the day with some wonderful friends celebrating his birthday. Lots of good food, new people to chat with, and, as always, fantastic conversation.

How was your weekend?

Happiest of days to sabrina_pandora! May today be full of fun and laughter and may the coming year bring you bright blessings.

Happiest of days to simtra! May today be delightful for you and may the coming year bring you all the joy you could ask for.

To the rest of the world:

Happy Halloween! May it be as spooky as you want!

Happy Samhain! May all your encounters be good!

I was reminded again last night just how horrible of a person I am for believing that eight years old is old enough to start learning about responsibility.

Lately our weekends with Miss Kid have been planned out by her and her mother, with no regard to any plans we may have already made. Last weekend it was birthday parties with the claim that Miss Kid "really missed those kids and hadn't been able to see them in a long time". Miss Kid barely spoke to any of the kids present. And really, I don't mind taking her to spend time with friends if she's going to actually spend time with them. But I resent being treated like a chauffeur for her.

Last night we were presented with a weekend trip from her school that "she wants to go to so we need to sign the permission slip". The quotes all from her mother. The permission slip was not with the paperwork we were handed and Lynn asked about it. We were informed my mom that she'd given us everything she'd gotten so we'd have to go online and print out the permission slip. I said no, if Miss Kid wishes for us to consider the activity then she needs to get the form and supply it to us since it's something she's requesting. I got another of those patented dirty looks for daring to ask her precious child to do something on her own. It's the same look I get when it's brought up that Miss Kid is responsible for helping with dishes, food prep, her laundry, and keeping her areas clean when she's here. If she's with us when we go shopping she's in charge of the list. Last weekend she also helped compile and organize the shopping list for Thanksgiving as well as marking off some of the things we have already on hand.

I again reminded the mom that while she may very well be willing to follow Miss Kid around for the rest of mom's life making sure she has everything done for her, I am not. Nor am I letting Lynn do so. Instead we are teaching her how to do for herself. Do we still help her own on occasion? You bet. But we also try to show her how to do it without our help, and after being shown so many times, she's expected to do it on her own.

Stop telling me your child is smart and allow her to show me that she is damnit.

It's a gray Monday ... and I'm bored.

Poll #1476704 Confessional
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: None, participants: 6

Ask me anything.

Got a secret you'd like to share?

You've got 24 hours with me to do anything you can think of and I'm game for all of it ... what top 5 things do you want to do?

Happiest of days to kenakeri! May today be delightful for you and the coming year bring you all the joy and bliss you could ask for!

Birthday:
Happiest of days to caersidi! May today be bright and may the coming year bring you much laughter, joy, and happiness!

LJ Idol:
Voting on Week 1's Topic Empty Gestures is now open! If you read my entry Empty Gestures vs Sincere Love and enjoyed it please drop me a vote. I'm in the second poll down, Tribe BigDoug. Also, please consider voting for apisanthrop! He has his very own tribe, the first one on the page. His entry, Empty Gestures and Throw Away Words, is here. Voting is open until Monday evening and anybody with a livejournal can vote. Please vote for all your favorites but only once. It's not fair to use more than one account to vote with.

Today's Find:

Photo links to shop listing.

Description: Iridescent black butterfly earrings with three round beads hanging from them.

Faireweave is a small shop that's just full of affordable handmade jewelry of all types! I love these earrings and I'll be sure to point them out to somebody close to me since I have a birthday coming up soon. *wink* Really though, there's a lot here that's gorgeous and you should stop by and check it out!

If you know of a handmade artist that needs a little bit of love please drop me a line here and let me know so I can feature them.

Birthday:
Happiest of days to eriksangel15! I hope today is delightful for you and the coming year brings you all the happiness and joy you could ask for!

Welcome:
Hi there to shadows_of! Feel free to jump in the pool where ever it pleases you.

Open Minds:
How does somebody claim to have an open mind but refuse to ever try anything new? Help me out here because I am one confused girl. If you don't try new things then how does your world ever grow? How do you truly know if item x is the best thing since sliced bread? I'm glad that I'm willing to try pretty much anything at least once, just to see how I like it.

COH/COV
The Halloween event is supposed to start today so if you're looking for more badges and fun events keep that in mind.

I'm off to see if I can get caught up on Idol entries ... so many people to read!

"I'm sorry, something's come up, I won't be able to make it."

"Okay, maybe next week then."

- - - - -

"Uh, I won't be coming by there today, the boss just called..."

"Okay, I understand."

- - - - -

"I'm sorry ..."

"I know, never mind, I didn't expect you anyhow.

- - - - -

After so many repeats, so many cancels, so many let downs ... the words just don't seem to matter anymore. I sense that there's no truth or sincerity behind them. My heart has been broken so many times I begin to fear making plans with anybody for anything. I'm terrified that at the last minute they'll cancel on me and leave me hanging, wondering what I did that was so bad that they'd change their mind about spending time with me.

I swallowed my fear and finally made plans to visit a friend. I would be driving three hours to see them and I was scared to call when I got close, scared they'd say something had come up. It hadn't. I spent a lovely weekend with my friend and felt better than I ever had before. I started to believe that I was somebody that people would want to spend time with.

Back home the I'm sorries continued though. My fear grew once more. My shaky faith in myself began failing, rapidly. I started avoiding friends and plans.

Through a tangled web of lies and half truths I ended up talking to a man who turned out to be nothing like what I'd heard he was. Thank the Gods. He was sweet, kind, and thoughtful. We talked for hours on the phone and he always answered my questions. He never ran off when the conversation got too serious. I hesitantly asked if we could meet. We made plans for him to visit and I spent the next month fighting off fears of a phone call saying that something had come up. I doggedly cleaned and prepared for him to share my house with me for a weekend. I batted away the doom hamsters on their doom wheels and told myself he would be there. He messaged me to let me know he was on the road and would be at my place in five hours.

I was on pins and needles the whole 5 hours.

I got home shortly before he was to arrive and I flew through the house straightening and dusting, often the same thing multiple times, just to keep my hands and mind occupied. And then he was there, at my door. His promises had been true.

Once he was back home, I quietly asked if I could see him again. We made plans again and again. Each time I was nervous that he wouldn't show and each time he did.

I never make a promise I don't intend to keep
So when I say forever, forever's what I mean
I'm no Casanova but I swear this much is true
I'll be holdin' nothin' back when it comes to you
You dream of love that's everlasting
Well baby open up your eyes

I can love you like that
I would make you my world
Move Heaven and Earth if you were my girl
I will give you my heart
Be all that you need
Show you you're everything that's precious to me
If you give me a chance
I can love you like that
--John Michael Montgomery "I Can Love You Like That"

He sings this and many more love songs to me, every one a promise. Each promise he's made to me he's kept. On the few occasions something has fallen through I didn't receive a hollow "I'm sorry" but a sincere and heartfelt apology. Each time he has worked with me to make things better. There is always love and earnestness in his eyes and actions. There are no empty gestures here and I'm grateful that I no longer have to deal with those who don't value me and my love.

Hi there, I'm Shadow. That's me in the icon up there.

*waves*

I've been on LJ since 2002, almost 7 years now. My journal has gone through a lot of changes in that amount of time and so have I; though I still try to see the bright side of life more often than not.

When I started out I was married, in 2007 I got a divorce, and just a month ago I re-married. I found my best friend and promised to spend the rest of my life with him. So far it's been a fantastic month, we'll see how the rest of our lives go.

I'm a creative type no matter what. I'm a dreamcatcher artist and create non-traditional dreamcatchers for non-traditional dreamers. I figure that we all have different dreams that are unique to us so I strive to create designs that help each person focus on their dreams and achieve them. I also create floral bouquets from silk flowers for weddings. I'm a writer and often find it far easier to express myself in written words rather than with spoken. I have a degree in interior decorating though I have yet to put it to use in a paid way.

I read constantly and have a large collection of books that will never be finished. There will always be more books available that I will want. Speaking of collections I also have a variety of music that I listen too. I can often sing the lyrics after one or two hearings but nearly never remember the artist or title. I have a spotty memory for such things.

I'm a geeky gamer girl, my games of choice being City of Heroes / Villains and tabletop D&D. This weekend being double xp weekend I'll probably be scarce. Though I don't stop there. I have a healthy amount of console systems, including Atari 2600, N64, PS1, PS2, NES, SNES, Wii, and XBox. One day I'll have them all. Hey, a girl can dream can't she?

I can and have happily amused myself in craft stores for hours on end. I still see rainbows and try to chase down the ends, not for the gold but for the magical moment of finding it. I love to stand in the pouring rain and let it soak me to the skin. I am drawn to scents of vanilla, cinnamon, pumpkin, gingerbread, and burning wood. I often bury my face in the fur of my dog, just to tell her I love her. I am happiest when I am held close by somebody I love. Despite being nearly 28 I still revert to 6 with joy when seeing our Halloween or Christmas decorations out. I paint my nails in funky colors, just because I can. I am both a long before my time grown up and a forever child. I love life and live for the happy, delightful moments.

This is my 3rd spin around in the LJ Idol world, and I'm glad to be back. Welcome to the competition and may the best writer win.

I will be participating in Season 6 of therealljidol. I participated in Season 4 and 5. All season four entries and home game entries can be found under the lj idol s4 tag, Season 5 is under the lj idol s5 tag.

I hope you enjoy the posts the contests results in and I look forward to your feedback as this season progresses.

Welcome:
Hi there to cainle_bean! Welcome and I hope you enjoy your time here!

Birthdays:
Happiest of days to dr_nebula! I hope today is fantastic for you and the coming year brings you double the lovelies and shineys!

Happiest of days to kiwiria! I hope today is delightful for you and the coming year brings you triple the books!

Happiest of days to libra_dragon! I hope today is wonderful for you and the coming year brings you all the happiness and love you could ask for!

Catch A Dream
I will be opening the store up later today and updating the facebook fan page with links to see more pictures / purchase each dreamcatcher, if possible. Other than that I'm taking a bit of a break. I've been trying to do far too much with everything and Lynn and I both think it's time I scale back a bit in some areas so I can work on other things and balance myself. Customs will still be available but original designs will probably be a bit slower for a bit.

COH
Double XP Weekend / Reactivation Weekend starts on Thursday October 8th. During the days I'll be working on some of my less played toons, typically anything that's not on Triumph, nights will most likely be teaming with Apexers, usually on Triumph. You can see a list of all my toons on City Info Tracker and find me in game @Spancia.