Shadow Wolf Byrd (shadowwolf13) wrote,
Shadow Wolf Byrd
shadowwolf13

Revolving Resolutions

It's that time of year again, when promises are made and quickly forgotten in the haze of celebration and elation of another year gone.

Many go out like a big game hunter, with grand declarations of what they will accomplish in the coming year and what grand strides they will make towards their goals.The next day the shards of the great plans litter the floor along with the empty bottles and glasses.

I have made plenty of resolutions in my past. I too have swept the shattered dreams into the dust bin.

Now I find that the resolutions I keep are the ones I remind myself of every day, the ones I whisper quietly as I go through the day, the ones I sneak up on and patiently wait to snare.

I once reminded myself daily that I was going to get away. I told myself day after day that I would walk away from pain, that I would no longer accept a man laying his hands on me in a hurtful way because I deserved better. And I did it. I stood up to him one day and told him I was leaving, I was through with his abuse and mistreatment.

I wanted better things in my life, better eating, better health, more happiness. So daily I reminded myself to slow down, to plan a little more, to see the little things once more. I took a little longer at the grocery store and looked for things that were better for me than the bargain bin prices. I took time out to spend time on me. I lost weight, I smiled more. I felt better. I looked better. I was happier than I'd ever felt.

When you're cold and alone it's easy to give up but I didn't. I kept trudging along

And now I've slipped.

It's time to return to slowing down. I need to use the brains I have to work for me again. I have even more reason to live these days and even more love surrounding me. I have somebody who keeps his promises to me. I need to work on being around long enough to prove to him that I'll be here in another 40 years, just as I've promised him.
Tags: lj idol s5
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  • Confessional Box

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